Shiver and shake, shaken and stirred

Could someone please save these people from themselves?

Sometimes you find yourself in the midst of some freaked-out reality which you severely wish was just a crazed illusion. Then again, it rarely is. Like, yesterday, when I was looking for fan-vid's on YouTube and came across a "hilarious clip" of a certain Doc in a completely new role. Boy, do I regret taking the risk of watching that! And a few moments ago I was checking out The Sun for news on my fav. Brits, and guess what: Mr. Blonde has gone and done something silly - again. (Disclaimer: I do NOT trust The Sun! I don't necessarily trust YouTube either! But they both had photographic evidence!) Here follows another few chapters in the story of what nightmares poor Scaramouche has had to endure over the past days and hours;


PART ONE - DOC IN DRAG: Apparently, the Doctor's worst enemy these days is neither Slitheen nor Dalek, it's Mr. DT's appalling sense of humour. He recently visited the infamous Friday Night Project and there let fans induldge in a Doc Who-spoof featuring himself in a curly, yellow wig and a skimpy, black dress. And heels, high heels. Only an unmistakable, Scottish accent could overshadow the pitchy, atonal voice and the ridiculous gestures and reveal that this wasn't even remotely funny, this was David Tennant. (Hopefully not giving us a taste of the upcoming third season?! Please!) And that being said, had it been an ordinary, not-WHO-related, entertaining, transvestite-homage plot, I would probably have been first in line to praise the scene. Considering that I usually adore men in drag. (Long story.) But this was no such; this included a beard-o version of the Doctor, in an ugly grey suit and played by one Friday Night regular with horrible acting skills, set on the location of a so-called "Pink Planet", reminiscences of a not too bygone past; as we got face to face with a ghastly, wobbly-seeming TARDIS, and then David, most importantly and regretfully, as the "gorgeous time travelling assistant". Indeed; he didn't even have the decensy of playing himself! We were also "fortunate" enough to enjoy appearances from both the evil "Gay-Lord" and the silver-shirted "Car-leks", before the whole thing eventually came to an end. However, and as if we had not been through Hell and back already, they did manage to ruin the end-credits with some dreadful animation. AND they dared being disrespectful of the late King of Queen, Mr. Freddie Mercury somewhere in the middle.

Conclusion: the only Doctor Who + men in drag-setup that ever worked took place in the film "Breakfast on Pluto", which starred the cute, lovable Cillian Murphy and in which the Daleks looked like actual Daleks. As much as I might enjoy watching David Tennant make a fool out of himself, I can't stand his making a fool out of my favourite TV show. Shame on you guys!

(I did laugh a little, though - of relief! - for it could actually have been worse. Seriously. It could have been Chris!! *Shudders*)

PART TWO - MR. BOND'S A DUMB BLONDE: Craig the Clown has bought a new car, the only problem remains that he can't actually drive it. Reportedly, Daniel Craig made observers laugh their asses off as he unsuccessfully tried to park his brand new 4X4-drive monster the other day. So much for showing off your Casino Royalties. And just now, I'm reading that Sienna Miller and Craig are giving the Bafta-administrators a real headache as a previous love-affair of theirs makes it so embarassing for them to meet, that the organizers must organize for the two spoiled wretches to avoid bumping into each other during the entire evening of the awards. And he still doesn't claim to have taken on the role for any other reason except the money.

Conclusion: I know a couple of other actors who would be more than pleased to take over that part. And they can drive, too.

PART THREE - AT WAR WITH THE LOCALS: Og her hjemme, i gamlelandet, planlegger vi å sende Jenny Jensen til finalen i Grand Prix, i tillegg til at folk som Herodes Falsk får gi ut samlealbum og TV2 Zebra sender dokumnentarfilmer der Whitney Houston fremdeles er gift med Bobby Brown og Britney er på dater'n med Justin.

Conclusion? It's a mad, mad world. And cruel.